I had a friend who lived in Dallas. I had known her for quite a while. I knew she had suffered abuse within her family and in many prior relationships. I had a soft spot for her because I knew and understood her hurt and pain. I have always been empathetic towards people who had problems, even ones with issues that I may not have personally experienced. I believe that is why I am taken advantage of from time to time. People see that soft spot, and they try to use you towards their position.
My friend was suffering through hard times. She had lost her transportation and was having a hard time commuting to work. She had to walk to work a few times and realized it would take hours for her to get there. Then she began to ask me to help pay for Uber rides to and from work until she found a more permanent solution. Initially, I didn't see any harm in helping occasionally, but it turned into an everyday thing, then eventually she would have the Uber take her to other stops and my card would be charged almost triple of what I intended to pay. Enough was Enough. The money was adding up and almost exceeding the amount of what a car note would cost on a monthly basis.
One day I decided to get on my Snapchat and noticed that she was at a party. I wondered to myself, well how in the HELL did she get to that party, but never have a ride to work? At that moment, I felt used and felt like I had been deceived.
So I decided to confront the situation head-on, even though I hated confrontation, and let her know I could no longer afford to assist her with Uber. I told her that I was aware that she had friends in Dallas, As I Lived In Houston, and that she would need to try to catch rides with them or a co-worker. She said she understood and wouldn't bother me anymore. Two days passed, and she asked me once again for a ride via text, claiming she had no other option. Me, once again, not wanting to get into a confrontation, I sent her a text back, "Girl, you better ask Pat or Might!" I saw she read the message and began typing, her response, "Who is them?" So I said, " PAT your feet and you MIGHT just get there, because no more rides from me BIHH."
I didn't get a response for over ten minutes, as she would generally reply within seconds. I knew that my friend was upset, and I concluded that this alleged friendship was one-way. My friend never once tried to understand that I could not financially support her. I knew that she had a family and group of friends who could essentially provide for her.
Sometimes, we open our hearts and wallets to the wrong people. It is okay to help people once in a while, but it is also okay to say no. Good people sometimes can lose themselves by continually giving to others, sometimes they end up giving up a part of themselves. In many instances, this can lead to one feeling empty because those actions are never reciprocated.
By cutting my "friend" off and showing her tough love, she moved forward in her situation. She had no other choice, her survival instincts kicked in, and since then, she has been in a better position. I will not take credit for how she has come across a better life, but I do know, God had temporarily put me in her life for a reason, but I wasn't the solution. He was.
Don't ever feel bad for putting your foot down, or cutting someone off after you have helped provide for them. Sometimes, the Tough Love is what Saves You.
My friend was suffering through hard times. She had lost her transportation and was having a hard time commuting to work. She had to walk to work a few times and realized it would take hours for her to get there. Then she began to ask me to help pay for Uber rides to and from work until she found a more permanent solution. Initially, I didn't see any harm in helping occasionally, but it turned into an everyday thing, then eventually she would have the Uber take her to other stops and my card would be charged almost triple of what I intended to pay. Enough was Enough. The money was adding up and almost exceeding the amount of what a car note would cost on a monthly basis.
One day I decided to get on my Snapchat and noticed that she was at a party. I wondered to myself, well how in the HELL did she get to that party, but never have a ride to work? At that moment, I felt used and felt like I had been deceived.
So I decided to confront the situation head-on, even though I hated confrontation, and let her know I could no longer afford to assist her with Uber. I told her that I was aware that she had friends in Dallas, As I Lived In Houston, and that she would need to try to catch rides with them or a co-worker. She said she understood and wouldn't bother me anymore. Two days passed, and she asked me once again for a ride via text, claiming she had no other option. Me, once again, not wanting to get into a confrontation, I sent her a text back, "Girl, you better ask Pat or Might!" I saw she read the message and began typing, her response, "Who is them?" So I said, " PAT your feet and you MIGHT just get there, because no more rides from me BIHH."
I didn't get a response for over ten minutes, as she would generally reply within seconds. I knew that my friend was upset, and I concluded that this alleged friendship was one-way. My friend never once tried to understand that I could not financially support her. I knew that she had a family and group of friends who could essentially provide for her.
Sometimes, we open our hearts and wallets to the wrong people. It is okay to help people once in a while, but it is also okay to say no. Good people sometimes can lose themselves by continually giving to others, sometimes they end up giving up a part of themselves. In many instances, this can lead to one feeling empty because those actions are never reciprocated.
By cutting my "friend" off and showing her tough love, she moved forward in her situation. She had no other choice, her survival instincts kicked in, and since then, she has been in a better position. I will not take credit for how she has come across a better life, but I do know, God had temporarily put me in her life for a reason, but I wasn't the solution. He was.
Don't ever feel bad for putting your foot down, or cutting someone off after you have helped provide for them. Sometimes, the Tough Love is what Saves You.
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