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What You can't Have


We have all heard the saying, "I always want what I can't have."

I believe that human nature has increased our chances of survival. We tend to accomplish things, and we want more and more, sometimes things or people that are not likely for us to have.

In other instances, we are continually chasing happiness. Sometimes we see that other people have something that we don't and we believe that is the solution to our unhappiness.

Or it could be that subconsciously we know that item or person is out of our reach and it makes us want it even more because we know we can't have it.


The human mind can be weird at times. Sometimes our wants, do not need an explanation and sometimes they do.


In psychology, this thought process is referred to as the Hedonic Treadmill. It allows us to keep wanting to achieve throughout our lives.



Sometimes the lyrics to the song "Waterfalls" by TLC can really become clear at times. I, myself have the tendency to seek out things that might not be either realistic or on my level. This can either be challenging in a good way or detrimental to us as well.

Whenever I dreamed about owning my own company, it felt like I was chasing a rainbow. I saw my competition, I saw how much it would cost to start it up, and I saw all the negative feedback I received whenever I pitched my idea. 

So how do we know that the something that "we can't have" is something that we actually can?

I think there is a time in everyone's life, where you can take that risk and chase and go after what you want. But I also think that subconsciously,  at times we can have a warped sense of value. 

"Too often, the thing you want most is the one thing you can't have," said Meredith Grey in the show "Grey's Anatomy."

We often put a more perceived value on people who are too busy or can't accommodate their schedule for us. It's like deep down we like the chase. If we feel someone or something is in high demand, we will work harder for it, even if the notions aren't reciprocated.

We can tend to place more value on other people than we do ourselves and that's where things can go wrong. 

We need to start placing more value on ourselves and love ourselves more. Chase what matters to us, but stop being susceptible to breadcrumbing.

We let people treat us any type of way due to dopamine. Whenever they finally respond we feel rewarded and happy because it is such a rare occasion.

We should devote our time and energy to things that we do have and appreciate it more. This will prevent more heartache.

This might come as a lecture to some, but really this is just a way for me to understand why I am always driving to Chick-fil-A on a Sunday. 

Pray for me yall.

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